Secret

Shhhhhh....

In my early twenties and before I was married with children, I visited my aunt and uncle who resided in a sleepy suburb of Los Angeles. I was riding shotgun the second day of my visit. Along side my uniquely wise Uncle Bob we cris-crossed the streets of Downey, California. Uncle Bob was describing the rich and poor parts of town, how people come to L.A. and embrace anonymity, to lose their old identity, and to start anew. He then turned left - twice. The first left was on to Firestone Boulevard; the second left was in our conversation. He said to me, "You would love to living her".. He looked me in the eye and said it would be good for me. That I would do well here in L.A. because I preferred to keep to myself and have a private life...

I've never forgotten that conversation...

I remember thinking, I do??!!!'

Those who know me well know David as a man who always has an opinion (and shares it), talks too much, listens too little, and wears his heart on his sleeve. I am passionate about SHARING. I love to know others and for others to know me. I ask questions of people and genuinely want to know the answers. I abhor gossip and hearsay. I value authenticity and trust.

What did my Uncle see in me twenty years ago that I couldn't confess to myself? Was he right? What secretive life did he presume I lead...?

We ALL have secrets. (if you're telling yourself you don't - you're deceiving yourself)

That's it! I'm taking these kids to the fire station and wish them well...

If he says one more degrading thing to me - I'm leaving...

Why do I have such a connection to him - I'm MARRIED!?

I shouldn't watch this - but it's not a big deal

I know I don't tell her everything - but it's okay. I'm sure she does the same thing.

I'm miserable - but everyone around me says, you'll destroy the kids if you leave...

What happened to ME? I love my kids - but sports and activities can't be MY life...

I'll just do it one time - my boss won't find out...

I hate my job - but it pays well...

I disgust myself when I see what is looking back at me in the mirror...

Are any of these statements yours? Does anyone know you've had these thoughts; said these words?

We're asked to keep secrets by those closest to us. We keep secrets from those closest to us. Captain Obvious would say, "it's important to have someone who knows your secrets - trusting in one special person or persons is vital to a healthy existence."

However, there is ONE SECRET we all possess and rarely identify, confess, and act upon...

Secret : Who are you? Do you know?

I'm speaking of the individual God has masterfully crafted : YOU. Who are you? What is the secret behind WHO you are?

I've asked this question to many individuals over the years. The common answers are, "mom", "parent", "sister", "brother", "accountant", "husband", "attorney"...

Yet, I challenge you to identify the secret of you by doing the following...

Take away your family, friends, career...take away the roles you play, take away what others have told you who you are. WHO ARE YOU? What's your secret - the secret of YOU?

NEWSFLASH : You're NOT a mom, dad, salesman, aunt, uncle, or coach. These are simply roles you play. They're important roles - but this is not who you are,

When was the last time you thought about YOU? When was the last time you MADE the time to identify the SECRET - the secret of you.

Children grow up, careers change, friends come and go, But the constant is YOU. If you don't know who you are - this secret remains hidden and you'll never realize peace, contentment, joy, and love.

I don't have time for me...I have responsibilities, I have to worry about others before I worry about me...I won't be selfish.

If you don't identify your secret - you can never fulfill the roles you choose to fill with any type of deep and authentic commitment.

What are you passionate about? What makes you tick? What brings you joy, what brings you pain, what keeps you up at night, what dream of yours is unfulfilled.

My three children are 15, 13, and nearly 12. They each have their own unique heart and soul. I want them to know WHO THEY ARE. Not what they do. Avoid overvaluing what others say they are -but find value in who THEY say they are.

I take my three children to church. I want them to be challenged by the reality of something bigger than themselves. Although I try not to preach AT THEM, I want them to identify the spiritual side of who they are. I don't force my beliefs upon them - I want them to find their own path. But, I do want them to look beyond their performance at school, look beyond their successes and failures in activities and sports, look beyond their future careers and future spouses and families...

What is your secret? Live beyond the roles you play. If you identify and share the secret of YOU, the secrets that possess you and the secrets you keep and hide from others will become less restrictive. You will find peace - you will find life.

I never moved to L.A. I've visited a few times in the twenty years since. I don't want to be hidden. I don't want to be anonymous, I don't want to be someone caught up in the roles I play and in the spaces others have determined for me.

What's my secret? I'll tell you. Just ask me...

-Billy